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Music Saved Me




Music is a Universal language. Music connects us, can take us back in time, give us hope, change our lives, and sometimes even save our lives. Its power is undeniable.

Music has saved my life many times over. Different songs, different artists, different times. Music completely changed my life in 2020.

 

When I was younger, I took piano lessons, which I didn’t care for at all. I tried playing flute and drums in high school, but those didn’t work for me either. It wasn’t until after high school that I decided to pick up the guitar. My brother was a musician and always had a guitar in his hands. I borrowed one of his acoustics for a short time and started taking lessons. I was completely hooked and was getting to be okay at it. I could even play by ear with some songs. I immersed myself in music. I studied singing, worked in a music store, worked for an entertainment magazine for a short time and even went to National Guitar Summer Workshop for a couple of years. I loved every minute of it. When I finally moved away from home, life stepped in. I had to work a couple of jobs to pay the bills which left no time for anything else. I let my passion for music, playing and learning, just slip away.

 

Fast forward to 2020, some 25 years later. The whole world shut down and I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. I was also dealing with a chronic lung disease, so I mostly kept to myself. I did what any normal person would do. I watched a ton of YouTube videos. I went down the rabbit hole and found myself mesmerized my one particular artist, the one and only Myles Kennedy. I am not sure what it was about it that drew me in, but it was strong. His playing, his vocal abilities, his meaningful lyrics and of course his emotions. That to me was, and still is, an unbeatable combination. As I was watching and listening, I remembered that I was once able to play and sing, oh so long ago. I had my brother’s 1960 Gibson ES-125T hanging on my wall. I cleaned it up, tuned it and tried to play. I had forgotten everything by then, so I went in search of a teacher. I found a really great one thanks to Instagram and never looked back. I started learning, playing, writing, and recording. I connected with some amazing musicians to be my co-writers. They have since become friends. Now I have released two albums, with more new singles coming out periodically for the rest of the year.

 

2020 was a rough year for me. My now ex-husband had just moved out in September of 2019. I got very ill in November of that same year. My lung health kept deteriorating and I couldn’t even walk down the hall. I had to crawl. That lasted maybe three weeks. To be perfectly honest, I have no idea how I got through it. But I did. The year started off very rocky, but once I found my passion again, things changed.

 

In December of 2021, my right lung spontaneously collapsed. I was taken to one hospital then transported to another a couple hours away for a procedure that took me down even more. I was sent home after. Again, I was unable to even get out of bed. I had friends who would come help me, bring me food, clean the house for me, and help me as much as possible. I am so thankful for them. I had so much free time just lying in bed, that I went back to YouTube. He brought me back once again. I was reminded what I wanted to do. I was reminded that I was strong and could get better. I kept moving forward, slowly because of the music that inspired me. For a time, I went to a very dark place because I was so alone and unable to do anything. I couldn’t even play guitar because it took too much energy that I didn’t have. I was tied to my oxygen machine because I couldn’t breathe. But I kept going. The music saved me; saved my life. There is a line in one of his songs with his band Alter Bridge that I truly resonate with. The song is Blackbird. The line is “may you never be broken again”. I am now working my way onto the list for a double lung transplant and doing everything that the doctors tell me to. I am also constantly writing, playing, singing, and recording. Yes, I do so while on oxygen.

 

I haven’t let those bumps in the road stop me, although there have been many times, I wanted to just give up on everything. I found myself going into very dark and scary places for a while. I didn’t like it. I had to remember what it is I am fighting for, what I want to do with my life, who I want to be. Again, music brings me back. Whenever I have a music lesson, my mood dramatically improves. Lyric writing is my therapy. It helps me get things, emotions, out and express feelings that I can’t do otherwise. Again, music continues to change and save my life.

 

I’m really became aware over the last few years about how much physical health affects mental health. I have lived it. I have felt it. I am dealing with it the best way I know how. Things are much better these days. I am much stronger than I have been in years. My voice is still doing pretty good and I will keep going with the singing and recording for as long as I can, but I am ready for the next phase. I am ready to get new lungs and a new life full of possibilities. Once the surgery is done, I will never be broken again.

 

Yes, music can inspire, change, and even save your life. I am living proof.

 

Kristi Jacques

Independent Artist

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